


Completely Catty

by Spuri



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Japanese slang, Miscommunication, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 01:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8470477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spuri/pseuds/Spuri
Summary: Mari tries to be supportive of her baby brother and his new, uh, lifestyle. Of gayness. While also embarrassing him to death. Older siblings are great at multitasking like that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm apparently not done mortifying an oblivious Yuuri with random Japanese quirks and slang.
> 
> Today, we are tackling "neko", or "cat", which is slang for a person with a preference for bottoming. A person with a preference for topping would be "tachi". I can't quite confirm, but the impression I've gotten, at least, is that these terms are more commonly used in actual queer spaces, while "uke" and "seme", which you might all be familiar with, are mostly used in fandom spaces. 
> 
> Though my impression might be completely wrong, since I haven't spent all that much time in Japanese queer spaces. I'm an aro/ace who's not big on drinking OR going out to party. There's very little reason for me to hang out in Japanese gay/lesbian bars.

“So, which one of you is the ‘cat’?” Mari asked with a lazy grin, as she lit a cigarette. It was her second in, like, an hour, and Yuuri kind of felt obligated to tell remind her how bad smoking was for her, but Mari had never taken kindly to anyone butting into her affairs or telling her what to do.  _ Especially _ about the smoking. And even more so after a long day of work. “I mean, I’m kinda having trouble imagining you pushing down a guy like Victor, baby bro, but hey, it’s not good to stereotype, right? You might have hidden depths.”

 

Okay, so more pressing than the smoking, Mari might’ve actually gone completely funny in the head, because Yuuri had no clue what she was talking about. He stared at his sister in complete confusion. “Why  _ cat _ ? I’m not sure you could call either one of us a cat. I mean, Victor calls me Little Piglet all the time, but… Oh! Do you mean Yurio?” Between his love for leopard and tiger prints, and his temper, Yuuri could kind of see why Victor often called him a kitten. An angry, hissing kitten.

 

Mari made a weird squeak-croak noise, and looked halfway between delighted and grossed out. “Yurio?! How does that work? Do you do him together, or what? You do realize he’s  _ fifteen _ , right? I hadn’t thought my little brother was that much of a perv! I mean, I could maybe see  _ Victor _ preying on jailbait, but you?”

 

“Wait, what?!” Yuuri exclaimed, pretty sure his face was bright red. And also kind of horrified, because it kind of seemed like Mari thought he was having s-se-...sex with  _ Yurio _ , who, for all his bluster and acting tough, was  _ fifteen _ , and that was just all kinds of wrong. “Jailbait?! What are you talking about, what’s that got to do with cats?!?”

 

“You know, ‘cat’, as in, who takes it up the ass?” Mari said, calm as you please.

 

Yuuri choked on air and was caught in a coughing fit so hard it brought tears to his eyes. “Mari! What’s  _ wrong _ with you!”

 

She shrugged, and tapped the ashes of her cigarette into the ashtray. “Hey, I figured I should support my baby bro’s new lifestyle, so I did some research.”

 

“ _ What _ new lifestyle?!” Yuuri demanded hysterically, still blinking away tears. Well, at least she'd waited to have this entirely too weird conversation until they were alone?

 

Mari made some kind of vague gesture with her cigarette that meants absolutely nothing to Yuuri. “Y’know, you and Victor’s whole…. huggy, touchy, epic gay romance?”

 

“Victor’s not gay!” Yuuri protested. Wait, that came out wrong. Wrong priorities. Wrong  _ everything _ . “ _ I’m _ not gay!”

 

“If you say so. You don’t have to be shy, though, it’s okay. Big sis is totally on your side, cheering you on,” she said with a smirk, taking another long drag of her cigarette.

 

Yuuri let his head fall down onto the table. “What are you doing cheering me on towards some kind of tragically huge mistake?”

 

Mari hummed thoughtfully, and blew out the smoke in a single, long stream. “Well, I don’t think it’d be a mistake, though.”

 

He turned his head enough he could fix her with a single-eyed glare. “How could it be anything  _ but _ a mistake?”

 

“Well, haven’t you noticed how the guy looks at you?” she replied, clearly unfazed by Yuuri’s glare. “And with the way you’ve been acting like a highschooler with a crush ever since he showed up, I figured you wouldn’t be opposed.”

 

“I have not!” Yuuri protested, shooting upright and trying to will the heat from his cheeks. He  totally _hadn’t_!

 

Mari smirked, and got up with an amused hum. “Well, it’s something to think about, at least. I gotta get back to work,” she said, and in a fit of sheer obnoxiousness, ruffled Yuuri’s hair into a complete rat’s nest, cackling at his indignation as she dodged away from his inefficient slaps.

 

She paused at the door with a small wave. “Good luck, baby bro.”

 

Yuuri scoffed. Good luck with  _ what _ ? It wasn’t as if he-... As if Victor-...

 

He let his head thump back onto the table. Well, crap. Now that she’d planted the thought in his head, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Man, tomorrow’s workout would be such a nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> You can find me over at [tumblr](http://spurisani.tumblr.com/) as well, if you wanna poke me.


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